JackDaniels624 has 121 chronicles

1. How I got Prototype: By JD624 (special guest appearances!)
   

   Player Chronicle -- Posted on Jun 13 2009

   WARNING: This is all true, except for everything that is fake!!!
   
   It was a day like any other, I woke up only to find someone replaced my alarm clock with a ticking time bomb, with only seconds before detonation. I yawned, then chuckled seeing as how I'm so used to things like this, so I casually plunged out of my window, landed on my feet, and started singing Hallowed be thy Name (the part where Bruce goes HEEEEEYY HEEEYYY HEEEY YEAH!!!!), and the bomb went off leveling the entire house.
   
   That's when my homie JT or Jack Thompson rolled up in a brand new white Escalade. I asked him why he didn't go with red like he said he was, and he said it was because he wanted to be able to see the blood of the children and puppies he runs over (he was exposed to two whole minutes of Grand Theft Auto 3). I shrugged and said COO!!! Anyway we decided to go to Best Buy to see if they had Prototype. JT had been wearing his smoke crack and worship satan shirt I recall, but that of course is all in good humor. He doesn't like satan and the crack part will be addressed right now. He pulled out a bag with a white powdery substance in it and offerred me some. I laughed and said "cokes a joke, smoke meth!" and he just made some strange noise like a goat or something. Of course it was coke since JT is a rich white former attourney, and from what I've learned in criminal justice, coke is that kind of persons drug of choice.
   
   Anyway so we were riding along listening to Soilent Green, and righ when Superstition Aimed at Ones Skull came on, a ton of Hell's Angels bikers rolled up on us (JT apparently stole the coke from them)...I shrugged and knew what this meant, a gunfight was sure to follow...Just like the shootout with the 5-0 last Tuesday...Anywho, since Jack just picked up this new Escalade, it wasn't packed as well as I would have liked. We had to use what we had, which in this case was a sawed off shotty, and a couple of colt .45's. I told Jack just to focus on the driving and I picked a few Angel's off with the .45's, and when they got to close I used the shotty and blew them away. However I quickly ran out of shells, and those Angels had plenty of soldiers left, not to mention each was strapped with a Tec-9 with at least 8 clips each! One of the Colts jammed as well! I quickly counted how many shells I had left, 5 in the clip, one in the chamber. If I aimed carefully I could take out 6 of the 8 Angel's! To skip ahead, I perfectly nailed 5 of the Angels right in the chest and Jack rammed one off a bridge, but that left 2 of them and I had taken a bullet in the left shoulder. Then I saw one of them speeding up with a pipebomb getting ready to chuck it into one of the broken windows. I did what I had too, I slowed down time, aimed carefully, said something really cool, then squeezed. I watched the bullet spin through the air and right inbetween his eyes! When he hit the ground the pipebomb exploded killing a whole bunch of drug dealers and gangbangers. We were safe...or so we thought...
   
   Jack and I cheered as we lit up our cigarettes in celebration, only to have it quickly cut off by a bullet destroying the cig in JT's mouth, leaving only the filter behind. The last Angel was furious and absolutely refused to give up! We were dead, and we knew it! Then in the blink of an eye, who else but Mikael Akerfeldt appeared. He gave me a nod, then pulled out his Desert Eagle and in less then a heartbeat, blew the head off of the last Angel. Jack and I thanked him and then asked how he got here. Mikael simply responded "I got your back JD!" I thanked him again and asked if he wanted to roll with us. He declined and told us he'd stop over later, but for now he was ice fishing with Jesus, and Jesus was pretty hammered so he needed a ride home. Oh and no I don't mean JESUS I mean a mexican guy named hey-zeus.
   
   So now that we finally had that mess sorted out, we finally got to Best Buy. I found that they did indeed have Prototype, but was shocked to find that they had one with a free shirt...Literally, they were both the same exact price. So of course I got the shirt and a can of Full Throttle (I love me Rock Juice!) and we left before any of the employees noticed I was bleeding profusely all over the place.
   
   We got out, then Mikael appeared again, only this time he was playing "Harvest" in the parking lot. We let him finish then asked him if he wanted to get some Chipotle's since we were in the area. He said sure and he paid, not to mention miraculously healed my wound...and got rid of all 361 bullet holes in Jack's new Escalade. We then got home and that's the end of the story...so uh...A special thanks to Jack Thompson and Mikael Akerfeldt for making the day such a great one!

   
   

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