JackDaniels624 has 121 chronicles

1. Movie Night Review: Puppetmaster Vs. Demonic Toys
   

   Player Chronicle -- Posted on Nov 30 2009

   *For Pan's sakes this review contains some spoilers*
   
   Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys is a horror/comedy that was a perfect choice for a movie night! It's about this guy who looks like Otacon, but acts and talks very much like Solid Snake. He makes this concoction in what looks like a meth lab that gives life to these Toulon Puppets that I guess protected the Toulon family for generations. The secret ingrediant is human blood, which is stronger if the blood comes from a virgin. These puppets include my Uncle Barrett, well, actually his names Blade or something and he's this guy with white hair and a blade and hook on his arms, some jester who later gets a mace on his arm (I don't think he uses it though), Six Shooter, who is a cowboy with six arms, and Pinhead, the Heavy from Team Fortress 2 basically. He's very strong. I may be forgetting one though...all well...
   
   There's also an evil toy company that has an evil baby doll that farts, a teddy bear that bites stuff, and some jerk-in-the-box that can fly quite far or something. This company plans on unleashing these toys on Christmas to kill all the bratty kids in the world or something evil. They also summon a demon named Bael or something.
   
   Anyway the evil toy company gave Snakacon a ladybug after a business meeting with him which spies on him. Later these burglars break into his house to try and steal the secret formula to unleash their plan. The puppets do their best to defend their master by cutting and choking them, but Snakacon is pushed into a shelf and knocked unconcious in the meth lab and the puppets get teh burneded.
   
   Meanwhile the toy company invades their secretary's privacy asking if she's a virgin, then sacrificing her. Then some lady cop goes to the methlad and talks to Snakacon and some stuff happens. Then Snakacon upgrades the puppets and plans on getting to safety. While he and his daughter are getting ready to hit the road, Snakacon has to go to the bathroom. Some burglars kidnap his puppets and daughter because apparently yelling "DAD!!!" while knowing your in danger doesn't alert Snakacon...so he goes to the evil toy companies headquaters, espionage style, to save her. I'll stop with the story from here because you have to see the movie to know the true awesomeness of it!
   
   I will post a few things I learned from the movie though. First of all being a virgin is VERY dangerous. If you are a virgin lose it soon otherwise you'll probobly be sacrificed. Also no men are virgins, but every woman is. Toys are evil, and puppets are good. Being punched and kicked repeatedly is not how to knock someone out, either have a baby hit your target in the back of the head with a flashlight or shove them into a shelf. You can also be in tremendous pain from needles penetrating your skin without having it leave any marks. And most of all, this movie is awesome and you have to see it! SO GO WATCH IT NAO!

   
   

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JackDaniels624 has 1 comment on this chronicle.

1. Dynafire
   Posted On Nov 30 2009

   Very nice review. I think this movie was perfect to watch as a party. It left itself open to a lot of jokes, but it wasn't a horrible movie either. Unlike Karate Dog, which was pretty horrible by comparison.