Dead Pixels has 41 chronicles

1. The Love Letter Series: Nintendo
   

   Player Chronicle -- Posted on Mar 03 2009

   Dead Pixels
   By Ryan M. Eft
   3-2-09
   
   The Love Letter Series: Nintendo
   
   Nintendo,
   First off, as a long-time fan who has owned nearly every system you’ve made (that excludes Virtual Boy, but you already knew that), let me say congrats on the success of the Wii. After that, I’ll explain why I don’t own one.
   
   In terms of console sales, you’ve got the #1 spot again. Despite your claims that you’re not competing with Sony and Microsoft and are trying to do your own thing, I know this makes you wet yourself with glee. And perhaps it should.
   
   But of all the systems on the market, yours had the lowest rate of add-on game sales. Half the people who buy are either getting it just to play Wii Sports at parties, or just to try and fail to find a copy of Wii Fit. And that’s been nice for you.
   
   But it has become clearer and clearer in the long run that while you had a strategy for getting back on top, you either had no strategy for staying there, or you’re hiding it really well. Because the thing to remember about the casual game market you’ve been vigorously courting is that they don’t demand the latest tech. Most have never or rarely played a game before. When the second iteration of the Wii does hit, they won’t care, because they can still use Wii Play on their old machine that still works just fine thank you very much.
   For a couple of years now, loyal fans like myself have made their displeasure known. You haven’t really cared, and the cushions of money you’ve been sleeping on meant you didn’t have to. You have, in fact, been very blatant about the fact that you don’t care. Remember claiming Wii Music was your answer to the dedicated gamer? Fun times. I’m not going to lie: I was a little hurt at first. This thing we had had been going strong for 21 years. That’s about 20 years and eleven months more than I usually invest in a relationship. And all of a sudden here’s this casual fling with this hussy who never had eyes for you before.
   
   You cut me deep, Big N.
   
   I have to say: clearly, you’re starting to notice that flipping dedicated gamers the bird will not work in the long run. This year you’re giving us Madworld, Cursed Mountain, Muramasa, Punch-Out, and a host of other titles built explicitly to appeal to the sort of people who knew you inside and out long before any waggle was ever involved.
   
   But buying us a few trinkets won’t change the fact that your attitude is off-putting. So here, without having to convene an expensive focus group, are some things you can do in the next generation to both win back your old fans, and convince Ma and Pa Casual Gamer that they need to get down with the next generation.
   
   You’re pushing this line of the Wii being innovative, but what you’ve done with the hardware has been less than the revolution we were promised. So what can you learn from this?
   
   Well, look at your Wii Motion Plus. You’re charging people for a peripheral that makes the Wii Remote do what it was supposed to do in the first place. Are you channeling Microsoft? Next time out, build your very interesting Remote technology into something substantial, rather than a toy with limited functionality. If you move your arm forward, Link should thrust his sword into an enemy’s shield. If you hold the remote out and spin, Link should spin. If you want to an uppercut while boxing, you do an uppercut. Most importantly, make sure it damn well works. The reason things like Okami weren’t the stars on Wii they could have been was simple: unresponsive controls. Bill and co. are getting a lot of flak for the Red Ring of Death, but to my perspective your controller not working right half the time is every bit as bad. Make. It. Work.
   
   Secondly: you desperately need the RPG crowd back. The Playstation systems dominated in part because they had Final Fantasy. And Dragon Quest. You got Dragon Quest back. That’s good. Your system as is can’t handle Final Fantasy, but we’ll get to that in a minute. Here’s a thought: buy Atlus. Just walk in with a blank check and tell them to think of a number. If ever there were two design philosophies more compatible than yours and theirs, I haven’t heard of them. Most of their stuff gets made for the DS anyway. This won’t send Wii 2 flying off shelves, but it will appease the exact sort of gamer who has abandoned you to kids and grandmas.
   
   You also need quirk. You need games that match the wacked sensibilities of your hardware. But these games need to be good; quirk for quirk’s sake is still poo.
   Insiders say you’ve more or less dropped all but the most basic quality assurance. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that the Official Nintendo Seal “of Quality” is no more. This generation has given us the term Shovelware specifically to describe software released for the Wii. Your system is filled with games that would be free flash titles online. Clamp down on what you allow to see the light of day. You’ll see an initial drop-off in game sales, maybe, but when people realize the system and the ideas behind it are kind of neat, and the games are actually pretty good, you’ll start reaping the benefits.
   
   This next one, it really kills me to say. You need blood. I never buy games specifically for violence. I hate that this is true, but it is. I know you want to be the family company, but this isn’t like it was back in the day. The ESRB is a really good ratings systems, and can be trusted. And if people still want to buy violent games and give them to their kids? Not your fault. Not a reflection on you. Bottom line here: violence sells. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to admit it. Bloody action games are a huge seller, and the Wii is a quart low on action games period. You need the next installments of Grand Theft Auto, Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat and others, and you need them to be every bit as good as the versions hanging out with Microsoft and Sony.
   
   Also, you really ought to stop assuming that “casual” is another word for “stupid”. Wii Music was only the latest affront to, not just gamers, but people in general. I quote from the back of the box: “A music game that’s for everyone!” Only one problem: pretty much everyone is capable of playing Guitar Hero and Rock Band just fine. Tapping different colored buttons to hit notes is far from brain surgery, and while not everyone can do it well (cough), most everyone can do it. Too often, the games you brand as having casual appeal only appeal to a non-existent race of people with only a single brain cell.
   
   To facilitate all this, the next Wii needs to be a machine. By this, I do not mean that it needs to have a Blu-Ray DVD player and eighteen USBs and a missile launcher. Sony is learning the hard way that gamers pretty much want to play games. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want some real tech behind it all. Cinematic is good. Epic is good. These are things that the Wii just can’t deliver the way the other systems can. You can make a machine, and still keep your innovation. You’ve got the cash now. Unrestricted internet capabilities would be nice. Also playing online without codes would be cool. In this day and age, you’re not protecting anyone’s innocence with that shit; they can just watch TV.
   
   Pull that off, and from where I’m sitting, you can dominate the next generation the way the SNES stomped all over the first half of the nineties.

   
   

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Dead Pixels has 1 comment on this chronicle.

1. Dynafire
   Posted On Mar 03 2009

   Took the words right out of my mouth. You accurately dissected everything that I felt was wrong with Nintendo and it made for a great read.
   
   Nintendo really needs to decide what they want to do. They can't just sit here and keep expecting the Wii to sell based on "non-games" like Wii Music or Let's Tap. They need to feed the GAMER crowd. You know, people that enjoy something that involves more than wiggling the controller in their gaming experience.
   
   The shovelware situation has gotten completely out of hand. It does make for some fun reviews to read, but it's not a good situation when 90% of your game library consists of titles that are utter crap.
   
   I'm curious to see what the next love letter hits on. Nice work!